personal – Shpunkey

Goals

I thought about it over breakfast, and I want to accomplish goals this year. It’s been a while since I set a goal for myself. Hopefully, this helps improve my mental health. They are simple. It should be easy to accomplish. We’ll see, I guess.

Old Year, New Year

So I suck at writing more. This isn’t new. I’d say say I’m sorry, but the past several months have been very uneventful, and there are only so many ways I can say the same thing over and over again. I would get a job interview, attend it, and feel positive about how I did,Continue reading “Old Year, New Year”

Something Hopeful

I told my therapist I would journal more. And I’ve just stared at the screen for hours, not sure what to write. I still feel really depressed and kind of hopeless. I’m trying to counteract that. So… I guess let’s look at the things that are good in my life right now. Things aren’t allContinue reading “Something Hopeful”

Fired

10 days ago I was fired from my job. Let go is the polite way of putting it, but it all boils down to the same thing. After nearly 5 years, I find myself unemployed again. I’m grieving the loss of this job. I loved the company, and I loved my coworkers. Sure, I didn’tContinue reading “Fired”

Stood Up

I got stood up by my therapist tonight. We usually just do check-ins, making sure I’m not going off in those fun manic ways. But I actually needed to talk to someone tonight. The person I paid to talk to just didn’t show up, and it looks like he canceled all my future appointments. I’mContinue reading “Stood Up”

Something about growth and goop

This has been a hard morning. I just woke up and everything felt off. I haven’t been home in a week, and thankfully I go back today. I’m still a part of the partial hospitalization program. We’ve just started talking about titrating me down to the lower-level IOP treatment. The past couple of sessions withContinue reading “Something about growth and goop”

Self Love Poem

This poem was an assignment from my therapist, which I felt was worth widely sharing

The Meaning of My Name

There is a much larger post in the works, which in all honesty has been in the works since June, explaining a lot of what has been going on in my life for the past several months. I need to be taking steps towards giving myself more meaning in life. Beyond Riley. I need moreContinue reading “The Meaning of My Name”

Some Sort of Accomplishment

On October 11th I attended, as far as a digital ceremony where all they kept was my name in a list of thousands of others, my college graduation. After half a decade of false starts and struggling with just existing with my brain chemicals and general health. I did it. I have all of myContinue reading “Some Sort of Accomplishment”

Contemplation

I’ve been thinking about this article a lot, since I read it a couple of weeks ago. Letting people know that I am bipolar is terrifying, every single time I must do it. It doesn’t matter the context of the relationship – romantic, sexual, completely platonic… sometimes even just work. And it’s not something IContinue reading “Contemplation”