I told my therapist I would journal more. And I’ve just stared at the screen for hours, not sure what to write. I still feel really depressed and kind of hopeless. I’m trying to counteract that. So… I guess let’s look at the things that are good in my life right now. Things aren’t allContinue reading “Something Hopeful”
Tag Archives: rambling
Stood Up
I got stood up by my therapist tonight. We usually just do check-ins, making sure I’m not going off in those fun manic ways. But I actually needed to talk to someone tonight. The person I paid to talk to just didn’t show up, and it looks like he canceled all my future appointments. I’mContinue reading “Stood Up”
Something about growth and goop
This has been a hard morning. I just woke up and everything felt off. I haven’t been home in a week, and thankfully I go back today. I’m still a part of the partial hospitalization program. We’ve just started talking about titrating me down to the lower-level IOP treatment. The past couple of sessions withContinue reading “Something about growth and goop”
The Meaning of My Name
There is a much larger post in the works, which in all honesty has been in the works since June, explaining a lot of what has been going on in my life for the past several months. I need to be taking steps towards giving myself more meaning in life. Beyond Riley. I need moreContinue reading “The Meaning of My Name”
Some Sort of Accomplishment
On October 11th I attended, as far as a digital ceremony where all they kept was my name in a list of thousands of others, my college graduation. After half a decade of false starts and struggling with just existing with my brain chemicals and general health. I did it. I have all of myContinue reading “Some Sort of Accomplishment”
Disco Ball
This holiday weekend has one of my busiest weekends of the year. Probably the past two years – though in hindsight basically nothing from 2020 should count. On Friday night, I saw Hamilton at the Pantages Theater with my family. And while the show was not the mind blowing experience was the first time IContinue reading “Disco Ball”
:)
Most, if not all, of what had me in such a state last week has been resolved. And this weekend was such a good weekend. My big health thing was a false positive. It was a very stressful period of waiting for those results. And my gods. The relief I felt when I got theContinue reading “:)”
Anxiety Bad Brain Finger Smash
After finishing this post. And going for a swim. And riding my bike. And dying my hair. And crying more until I feel so drained there isn’t much left in me. I am just done. I called my therapist, who helped get me to a more stable place for now. I might be manic. SheContinue reading “Anxiety Bad Brain Finger Smash”
Magikarp
I had a stupid, silly realization yesterday that lead to a panic attack where I was on the floor struggling to breathe for twenty minutes. It felt like every nerve was on fire and paralyzed. I couldn’t find my inhaler which made it worse. But I did find my manatee. And my space llama. AndContinue reading “Magikarp”
News and stuff.
I am sitting in an empty condo with a cat, who is currently grumpy with me because I apparently do not know how to give it proper pets. I just had a really, really great day. I woke up next to someone who makes me smile and happy. I got a free upgrade on aContinue reading “News and stuff.”
Shpunkey 