depression – Page 2

Magikarp

I had a stupid, silly realization yesterday that lead to a panic attack where I was on the floor struggling to breathe for twenty minutes. It felt like every nerve was on fire and paralyzed. I couldn’t find my inhaler which made it worse. But I did find my manatee. And my space llama. AndContinue reading “Magikarp”

Red Flags

It’s been another hard week. And while I’ve spent most of it in this weird depressed head space. I’m also coming out of it clearer than I have been. I had two very large red flags happen this week that has me doing something I should have done a long time ago but figured IContinue reading “Red Flags”

Ocean Therapy

So. In looking back at my previous entries. And also the apps I used to help monitor my depression and anxiety. It is very, very clear that I have been doing very poorly for the past month. Likely longer. Truthfully, I’m still not okay. Given that my last entry was yesterday. And I was distraughtContinue reading “Ocean Therapy”

Crash

It had been such a good couple of days.

News and stuff.

I am sitting in an empty condo with a cat, who is currently grumpy with me because I apparently do not know how to give it proper pets. I just had a really, really great day. I woke up next to someone who makes me smile and happy. I got a free upgrade on aContinue reading “News and stuff.”

Start of Spiral

I am not sure what to write now. I want to sit and just do something. But I am at a loss. Everything is telling me that my depression is spiking up again and causing a plethora of problems. I don’t know. I feel like I am saying that a lot. There were issues atContinue reading “Start of Spiral”

Processing. Please wait.

It feels like for months now, every time I sit down to try to write, it’s just about how depressed I am. I am fighting and struggling, every day with these feeling of inadequacies that multiply every time I go to work. Every time I wake up. Every time I let a friend down. IContinue reading “Processing. Please wait.”

Word Vomit

I’ve spent the past week cat sitting at one of my friend’s place. The cats are adorable, and one lets me rub its belly. And the other is mistrustful of me, doesn’t let me touch her, and tries, in general, to not be too close to me. I feel like the second cat. Last weekContinue reading “Word Vomit”

February Blues

When I started writing this entry, I was sitting at Tortilla Joe’s restaurant in the Downtown Disney District, taking myself on a much needed me date. This year is going by so fast. It’s kind of unbelievable. A lot has happened. To start, I have a temporary job. I am a data entry technician workingContinue reading “February Blues”

Aches

I have had a headache for five days now. It lives behind my right temple. Throbbing and stabbing. I keep taking Aleve for it, which offers temporary relief, but it also seems to anger my headache. I drink a lot of water, and I’ve splurged on food for the week to make sure it wasContinue reading “Aches”