murphy

Mother’s Day

My mom did something unusual yesterday. Both my sister and I have lost children from both miscarriages and abortion. Each time it happened it was devastating. It took me a long time to tell anyone in my family about it. And both my parents refused to acknowledge it happened. Or that those pregnancies existed. UntilContinue reading “Mother’s Day”

Meh

I spent most of the past week sick in bed, trying to get better. It worked, eventually. But I’m going to feel out of it still for at least another two or three days. I don’t actually have a lot to say right now. For the first time in my adult life, I don’t feelContinue reading “Meh”

Loved

My birthday was at the start of the month. And I did things with my family. Had a couple really nice dinners and all that. I celebrated with my friends yesterday. We went to one of my favorite museums in Los Angeles – the Museum of Death. It’s filled with every aspect of death –Continue reading “Loved”

Red Flags

It’s been another hard week. And while I’ve spent most of it in this weird depressed head space. I’m also coming out of it clearer than I have been. I had two very large red flags happen this week that has me doing something I should have done a long time ago but figured IContinue reading “Red Flags”

Something Positive

I am in a good mood. I’m tired and exhausted and go nowhere near enough rest or sleep last night. But I think I am happy. I started my new position this week. And it’s fantastic. I am never bored and there is always something for me to do. Even though some of what I’veContinue reading “Something Positive”

Ocean Therapy

So. In looking back at my previous entries. And also the apps I used to help monitor my depression and anxiety. It is very, very clear that I have been doing very poorly for the past month. Likely longer. Truthfully, I’m still not okay. Given that my last entry was yesterday. And I was distraughtContinue reading “Ocean Therapy”

If you’re reading this, you win.

via If you’re reading this, you win.

Crash

It had been such a good couple of days.

News and stuff.

I am sitting in an empty condo with a cat, who is currently grumpy with me because I apparently do not know how to give it proper pets. I just had a really, really great day. I woke up next to someone who makes me smile and happy. I got a free upgrade on aContinue reading “News and stuff.”

Start of Spiral

I am not sure what to write now. I want to sit and just do something. But I am at a loss. Everything is telling me that my depression is spiking up again and causing a plethora of problems. I don’t know. I feel like I am saying that a lot. There were issues atContinue reading “Start of Spiral”