murphy

Sneezes

Why are sneezes compared to orgasms? Like, why is there that saying that if you sneeze enough times, it’s like you had an orgasm? I think it’s eight. Eight sneezes is supposed to be comparable to one orgasm. HOWEVER! That isn’t true at all! Orgasms are fun. They feel good. A sneeze is never funContinue reading “Sneezes”

Closure

I had dinner tonight with my former fiancee. He had come in from out the east coast because he wanted to talk to me. And. I was hesitant. This is a man who emotionally and mentally abused me our entire relationship. He had me so detached from myself that I secluded myself from everyone inContinue reading “Closure”

Three

I got into a weird argument with my friends over something silly last week. We had gotten into a conversation about where we would rate on the one to ten attractiveness scale. And for the most part, everyone rated themselves six or seven. My boyfriend rated himself an eight. They all see themselves above average.Continue reading “Three”

A Weekend of Existential Chaos

This post brought to you by the theme of this particular weekend: Drugs, Booze, Being Naked, Afraid, and Alone Together, and Just Accepting Things the Way They Are.

Hit and Run

I got hit by a motorcycle today. I’m okay. I’m angry. Which is nice because hey emotions! But man. This really, really sucks. The motorcycle didn’t stop to see if he had damaged my car. Which he had. He was trying to squeeze between me and the car next to me and misjudged badly. HeContinue reading “Hit and Run”

Surprise!

I am very proud of myself. I have a friend who has believed his birthday to be cursed for as long as I have known him. And last year was probably the worst I have ever seen his birthday get. So, shortly after the new year. I made a decision. I was going to doContinue reading “Surprise!”

Magikarp

I had a stupid, silly realization yesterday that lead to a panic attack where I was on the floor struggling to breathe for twenty minutes. It felt like every nerve was on fire and paralyzed. I couldn’t find my inhaler which made it worse. But I did find my manatee. And my space llama. AndContinue reading “Magikarp”

Bad Week

It has been a bad week. It started with me having to cut a person out of my life that I cared about. I had basically nothing but bad days at work all week. There was an STI scare. With an extreme expense. That has been mostly resolved but has lead to a harder decision.Continue reading “Bad Week”

Mother’s Day

My mom did something unusual yesterday. Both my sister and I have lost children from both miscarriages and abortion. Each time it happened it was devastating. It took me a long time to tell anyone in my family about it. And both my parents refused to acknowledge it happened. Or that those pregnancies existed. UntilContinue reading “Mother’s Day”

Meh

I spent most of the past week sick in bed, trying to get better. It worked, eventually. But I’m going to feel out of it still for at least another two or three days. I don’t actually have a lot to say right now. For the first time in my adult life, I don’t feelContinue reading “Meh”