murphy

Jim

My grandfather passed away at the beginning of the month. We held the funeral services this past Monday. His body is being cremated some time today. Then my dad is flying to Pennsylvania to have grandfather’s ashes interred at one of the veteran cemetery there. I didn’t really know my grandfather growing up. I resentedContinue reading “Jim”

Looking Forward

I’ve been daydreaming a lot lately. I keep seeing the “one day.” Which is good. It’s a good positive thing for me to focus on. And it’s helped me set goals for myself. I want to get my bachelor’s degree. I’m not going to do the overly frilly and get two like I had beenContinue reading “Looking Forward”

Anxiety Bad Brain Finger Smash

After finishing this post. And going for a swim. And riding my bike. And dying my hair. And crying more until I feel so drained there isn’t much left in me. I am just done. I called my therapist, who helped get me to a more stable place for now. I might be manic. SheContinue reading “Anxiety Bad Brain Finger Smash”

Disorders

I have been diagnosed with many things over the years. Or been told you have this, only to go someplace else and be told absolutely not. Like schizophrenia. I’m not schizophrenic. Or bulimic. I do have bipolar. I do have major depression. I do have general anxiety. I do have PTSD. And I have anorexiaContinue reading “Disorders”

Oof.

I’m currently curled up on a friends couch with two cats nuzzling my legs and my favorite musical playing in the background. I am working off of my brand new Chromebook. I spent the day with my friends and then my partner. And… I’m happy. I feel loved. I feel attractive for the first timeContinue reading “Oof.”

Been a while

It’s been a hot minute since I’ve been able to sit and write. Not that I haven’t tried. There have been many instances of me sitting in front of the open journal entry page and just. Nothing come of out me. I haven’t been okay. That’s obvious from every other post. But, I am betterContinue reading “Been a while”

Trigger Warning

Trigger Warning: This post deals pretty graphically and heavily with a rape that occurred a year ago. While it was very therapeutic for me to write – I understand that reading it may not be for others. Click the read more at your own discretion.

Death by Itching

Over this past weekend I helped a friend move. Which is fun and great and I wound up getting the fluffiest llama out of it which is honestly the best thing ever. At the end of the day, when we were just relaxing and resting from a hard’s day work, I went to go sitContinue reading “Death by Itching”

One Day

I keep thinking about my one day. One day, I’ll have my own place. I’ll have my own furry pet. My car will be in my name, and I’ll be covering my own insurance. I’ll never have to ask my friends to help me by buying me dinner, or helping with gas because if theyContinue reading “One Day”

Processing: Not a whole lot to say.

I don’t have a whole lot to say right now. I’m still processing things from last weekend and this week. I went to a party last night which was really nice. Saw Yesterday today. It gave me feelings. Which is kind of uncomfortable after so long without feelings? Idk. Just kind of. Here. Processing.