While talking to some of my girl friends, one of them was lamenting a way in which they embarrassed themselves by in general being just real goofy. So now my brain is ruminating over some of the ways I’ve wanted to curl up inside myself and never be seen again due to embarrassment. And I can’t think of a better way to get this out of my head and be able to focus on literally anything else than announcing ways I’ve embarrassed myself on the internet.
So let’s get to it.
- Yesterday I was texting the guy I am currently all butterfly-y about and joking about how I trip a lot. As he joked about how dangerous the phrase “don’t trip” is for me, I very literally slipped and landed on my ass. In front of our normal fish tank cleaner man, who I have 0 way of avoiding in the future.
- I have forgotten I was naked and answered the front door more times than I care to count. It’s a wonder my roommate has not accidentally seen me naked yet.
- One time it was my brother. That did not go over well.
- At one of my regular papsmear appointments, the doctor walked in and I exclaimed “Oh no you’re hot.” He was my gynecologist for the next four years.
- That time I told my neighbor that my vagina was great, thanks for asking.
- There are a lot of vagina related ones, come to think of it.
- So. My vagina.
- The panic response I give anytime someone speaks to me in Spanish when I’m not expecting it. I usually tell people “me gato is muy burracho,” which translates to “my cat is very drunk.” I had a woman chase me down half a block once because I am clearly an animal abuser. I’m not, I just don’t know how to speak Spanish and that sentence is the only thing I remember from Spanish class.
This has been a fun exercise at laughing at myself. Which is great.
Shpunkey 