I failed to update last week. And, honestly, I’m not going to beat myself up about it the way I did for a couple days. I was literally hiding from my WordPress out of shame of missing a week. Because I am ridiculous.
It’s Valentine’s day.
I’ve been looking back at the way this holiday has been celebrated by me for the past several years. The one thing that has always stood out, is I tend to always do something for my friends. Even above my partner at the time. Which in hindsight isn’t great. I think I have always prioritized my friends above anyone else in my life. Which is something I will have to sit down and examine about myself.
I’ve drawn cards for people, cooked dinner. The last time I was completely single, I took myself to Downtown Disney and just. Had a hot bowl of soup and marveled at life and where I was. I’ve usually bought myself chocolate, or flowers because I’ve never wanted someone to do those things for me. It’s always nice and always appreciated. But never necessary. And I hate that there are people who have felt that they had to do X, Y or Z because of the holiday in order to make me happy.
This year I don’t necessarily have a Valentine. I just have my friends, and I intend to have a really nice dinner with them. I plan on getting my favorite See’s chocolate next week. And get a back massage or dye my hair. I like doing things for myself on Valentine’s day.
I also never really. Went big for a partner. A silly card. Maybe a box of candies. I think the most elaborate thing I ever did was I drew a picture of Zelda, Link, Midna and Tatl on a card for a guy who was not worth the effort and ghosted me less than a week later. I don’t know.
I’m in this fun, weird place right now that I’m not ready to talk about just yet. Because it’s early and way to soon to tell anything from anything. But I’m hopeful and excited. And this has been one weird rambling mess.
Murp.
Shpunkey 