This past December was probably the roughest December I have ever had the displeasure of going through. It started with one of the people I cared so much for and trusted enormously passing away incredibly suddenly. Then, three more friends were lost to COVID, one more lost to suicide, and ended with another final friendship that got critically damaged, very potentially to a point where it might not recover. It’ll definitely never be what it used to be.
There was a lot more that happened. I spent six weeks watching my friends’ pets, diligently driving all over Los Angeles County to make sure that eight cats and two dogs were fed, cleaned up after, played with, and cared for at various points throughout November and December. I had a very awkwardly failed attempt at a relationship. Which. I had never been so sure of anything than I was this guy. And it just… fizzled but lingered and hurt because it was so clear he didn’t want me. I don’t think he wants to be alone though, which is why traces of what could have been lingered for so long. I stayed at a friend’s place, which was closer to the office I work at. I had my first actual review at work, which went significantly better than I expected to and I also got scolded because I expected to not get a good review.
I am, it seems, very obviously too hard on myself.
The days seem to be slipping by way faster than they had been now that I am home again. It feels like yesterday I was at the New Year’s Eve party watching Encanto with friends. Now it is beyond halfway through the month. I am constantly scrambling to get things done because I feel so far behind already.
I start my final stretch of education next week. This should be my absolute last year of official educational courses lasting more than a weekend where there is the end goal of a degree or certificate. I still need to sign up and take the course to become a notary. But I worked hard to get into the program I am in now. And I am going to get all of these things done.
I don’t have really specific goals outside of becoming a certified notary and a certified paralegal this year. I am not looking to move out any time soon anymore, especially since it looks like in a year’s time, I’ll be able to go back to work remotely full time. I have a really good deal where I am at right now. I want to get healthier but that goal is not limited to this year.
I don’t know. This sure feels like a year.
Let’s see how it unfolds.
Shpunkey 