My grandfather passed away at the beginning of the month. We held the funeral services this past Monday. His body is being cremated some time today. Then my dad is flying to Pennsylvania to have grandfather’s ashes interred at one of the veteran cemetery there.
I didn’t really know my grandfather growing up. I resented him, a little, because he never came to see us. He expected us to go up to him every time. And it was so one sided and it hurt so much that he never wanted to see us. But he made the time to go see other cousins.
My dad said it’s because he was super introverted, and my cousins would beg. We never begged. I didn’t think we should have to.
We knew he wasn’t going to live long. They told us in July he had six months. He made it four. We all knew it was coming. It didn’t stop my dad from being completely broken at the funeral. It hasn’t stopped the ugliness from other places popping up.
I don’t know how to feel or process. I wasn’t close to him. I broke a little when I realized I’d never have the opportunity to be close to him. But. That’s all there is.
I’m okay when I think I shouldn’t be. At least I feel okay.
Shpunkey 